So, the background has been given and a few life lessons have been learned. But, how has this entire thing benefited my writing? Well, in a few ways actually, so let’s roll down the list.
1. Relationships are far more nuanced than I originally gave them credit for.
You know, I figured there were only about three different states of relationships: the friend, the boyfriend/girlfriend, and the one-sided feelings. That was it. My writings reflect this, I think.
As we speak, I’m somewhere in between the friend stage and the boyfriend stage … I don’t know what to call this stage other than “more than friends” but that implies a certain level of physical intimacy that simply doesn’t exist between us (at least not in the traditional sense).
I’m stuck in this in-between zone and I don’t hate it; it’s certainly weird, and it’s different, and I like aspects of it (namely, interacting with her) but there seems to be a ceiling — I have yet to actually hang out with her as a friend only (and all attempts to do so have been turned down, though my attempts haven’t been outstanding by any measurement).
In my writings, this area that I’m in simply doesn’t really exist — you could make a case that Hank/Bethany might traverse into this territory during the latter stages of their relationship, but I never envisioned it things like this.
2. Flirting is fun.
I write a few flirty characters in my stories, but the level of fun they have seems small compared to the fun I’ve had. Playful dialogue and witty remarks are rife within this entire situation of mine and I don’t think I’ve portrayed that nearly as well as I could have.
There’s a certain level of tension in the interactions between Abbey and myself, a tension that’s not bad but there … the best parallel I can come up with is an instrument: guitar strings have to have tension in order to play well.
I feel like, in this situation, that tension between the two of us is part of the reason WHY we get along so well. Why we play so well together, so to speak.
In my writings this seems to be a missing element, at least in comparison to my feelings now as opposed to my feelings during my multitude of writings.
3. Heartbreak is more like an illness than a feeling.
Being heartbroken sucks, let’s just get this out of the way. I’d like to lobby to change the word to “heart sickness” but I doubt it’ll catch on.
Heartbreak feels like getting sick and just being done with life for a period of a few days. During my LONG weekend to think about how it all came crashing down, I felt like I was ill. I don’t recall feeling quite so bad in the past, but I’ve never gotten this far in the past.
In my writings, heartbreak is portrayed as more of a feeling … and that’s simply not the case, at least not exclusively. Heartbreak is an illness more than anything, and like any illness, it can last varying amounts of time.
The only reason I’m still not heartbroken is because I work with the girl, and we still work really well together (on multiple levels). That gives me hope (and other things as well, but we’ll elaborate on that in the final post).
4. The future is heavy.
Writing primarily in the 24th/25th century, there are just some things about the future one doesn’t worry about. Money, healthcare, finding a place to live … the universe of Star Trek has all that covered. It’s actually pretty nice, from a writing perspective, but it doesn’t mirror reality at all.
Reality is far starker than that. In my theoretical assumptions, in my time lost down the rabbit hole, I had to consider a lot of future scenarios and finances, healthcare, and housing arrangements all reared their ugly head. This stuff MATTERS and it’s fine to consider it in theory, but it just isn’t hammered home unless you’re really thinking about it.
Which, I did, and it wasn’t a set of pleasant thoughts.
In my writings, I definitely need to find something that echos this concern for the time-period; galactic politics, race relations, scary technology … something along those lines would probably work.
5. It is absolutely possible to be fixated on just one girl.
One of my enduring self-criticisms in my writings comes from the Hank/Bethany relationship and how Hank always has her on his mind in some form or another. I always found it a straight bit of fiction, definitely something that couldn’t really exist.
I find myself agreeing with my portrayal — maybe not over that long a time period (staying on someone’s mind is much easier when you see that someone often) — but it’s definitely possible over a short time period. My thoughts have been centered on Abbey for most of the last three weeks … admittedly, I am trying to solve a few problems and constant analysis is my go-to solution to do that, but the point remains that it’s possible.
6. Describing the sensations felt during the process of kissing/hand-holding is hard.
My descriptive process in that realm needs a lot of work. Not sure how to put the things felt during those things into words … but those things felt were awesome.
That’s the end of the list, at least for here. In the next and final post, I’ll go ahead and throw out my conclusions drawn from all this (there are a lot). As always, any and all comments are welcome. Thanks for reading, folks.